How to stop being a wannabe (Opinion)

Originally, I had planned on writing a 12 step style guide on how to stop being a wannabe. However, my resolve, fickle as it is, would not allow it. So here I am, with an entirely new philosophy in less than twenty minutes time!
According to Oxford languages, a wannabe is “a person who tries to be like someone else or to fit in with a particular group of people.” In an ever changing world, who hasn’t been a wannabe? Everything is hard enough without having to justify the very normal desire of wanting to belong. My mom always used to tell me “Humans are social creatures” as she would nudge me along to play with the other kids when I was young, I was very shy. With terms like “wannabe” we are suddenly thrust into a world in which our only two options are to be perfectly adjusted to all things social, or to be cursed forever as a social outcast. It is time that we accept the ugly reality that most, if not all of us will be awkward at some point. And that’s okay!
We’ve all seen those cute animal videos of deer fawns learning to walk. Clumsily, they make their way across sunlight stricken patches of grass, chasing butterflies. We see them as cute and delicate creatures, our instinct is to protect them. We go through life learning from our mistakes the same way the fawn do, wobbly at first. Then, comes the inevitable stumble and suddenly we become recluses! Where did our confidence go, why must our sensitivity sabotage us this way?
When I was young I tripped and fell on an escalator and scraped my knees a bit, I barely even broke the skin. But for years afterward I made a fuss every time I had to step on one, I avoided them whenever I could, I was so afraid! All because of that miniscule incident. Even now sometimes I hesitate for a second when faced with the dreaded “moving stairs.” Sure it was escalators that did it for me, but for others its public speaking, small talk, even eye contact becomes stressful if you worry too much. When people think of “wannabe” they see someone ingenuine, silly and foolish for trying to be something they are not. But how are you supposed to find out who you are if not by trying everything out? Say something goes wrong, you embarrass yourself or scrape up your knees a little, do you hide away like a hermit? Of course not! How many experiences do we rid ourselves on account of fear? Fear of the unknown, of rejection, embarrassment, pain. We’ll feel it regardless of what we do, we might as well live and love wholly while we’re here.
It is important that we have the same compassion for ourselves as we do those little fawns, who will one day become majestic and graceful deer. Seeing that we are all just new people learning how to make our way into this world. Take heart and allow yourself mistakes, because nobody’s counting. Because one day, you’ll be whoever you wannabe.

Sources:

Community Journal. (2023, November). From the journal: The dehumanizing power of name-calling. Community Journal. https://community-journal.com/2023/11/from-the-journal-the-dehumanizing-power-of-name-calling/

Oxford University Press. (n.d.). Wannabe (Definition). In Oxford English Dictionary (3rd ed.). Retrieved February 6, 2025, from https://www.oed.com

Brackett, M. (2023, January 30). It’s okay to be awkward: Why embracing discomfort can lead to growth. The Good Trade. https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/okay-to-be-awkward/